Lent!

Happy Lent!

It's Lent, the 40 days that people who are connected in the church give up something they enjoy. I never understood the reason for Lent until this year. I was privy to the Ash Wednesday Service at my church. This is the first year the church (any church) has explained it in a way that I understood.

Lent is meant for us to give up something in our lives that drives us away from God and Jesus. Something that temps us, and takes away time from prayer and worship. So, with that in mind, I decided to give up three things. 

Two are SUPER easy, and one is EXTREMELY hard.

I have decided to give up Facebook, Alcohol, and Sweets.

To delve into this a little deeper, I need to give some background.

Facebook: I enjoyed Facebook so much when I first joined. It made sense to have a website to connect with other college students. You had to have a college issued email address to access it, and it seemed like something that started off as a way to meet people at your own school, as well as stay connected with friends who were attending other schools. Now, it's just another MySpace. I never have been that big into it. I have tried to love it, I have tried to use it often, but it always loses its luster for me. The prime example of this, is I do not have my birthday listed on my Facebook. I hate that people write 'Happy Birthday' to me because of a notification. I like when people know because they know me. Now, it is just something I use to waste time. I look at other people, envy what they have, compare myself to them, and don't grow as a person when I use it. So I am using Lent as a way to disconnect from the Facebook world. And I love it. What's nice is, I don't miss one thing about Facebook. I don't miss anything from it at all. And I can use Lent as an excuse not to use it. I have already decided that once Lent is over, I will be deleting my Facebook. *Shock* I couldn't be happier about the decision.

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Alcohol: I am not a big drinker. I experimented in college with it, but I didn't ever enjoy it too much. And as I have gotten older, the reasons to drinking have dwindled. Being diabetic, it also is so harsh on my blood sugar and I have a hard enough time with that as it is. I tend to be a social drinker. Having a drink with my friends while we are out to dinner, but I never really enjoying it. So I decided, instead of having anxiety around drinking (I have ALWAYS had anxiety around it), I just wanted to give myself a break. And that was an amazing choice. It also gives people a non-negotiable reason why I am not drinking. It allows them to take Lent as something I am committed to. Instead of, when I decline for no "reason", I am faced with, "why?", "just have one!", "I don't want to drink alone." and all the other things people say. I love it. And I think this is also something I would like to continue after Lent.

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Sweets: I am a Type 1 Diabetic. Enough said. So sweets can cause a lot of issues to my blood sugar. Not to mention the fact that I LOVE sweets. Instead of keeping it so vague, I decided to narrow it down to a list of things I count in that. Everything else is okay. Included in sweets are: anything that is served primarily as a dessert.. cake, cupcakes, brownies, cookies, rice crispy treats, candy, ice cream, pie, etc. And I should tell you, it was the best decision I ever made. I think that this may be something that I continue after Lent as well. It forces me to enjoy other foods, and other experiences, rather than eating, and not only eating, but eating sugar. That causes my blood sugar to go up, and with that, I tend to be forced deal with the highs. A vicious cycle that I am trying to nip in the bud.

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As for the reason for Lent, I have been really enjoying these things not being in my life. I may not pray more, and I may not go to church more, but I have noticed that I am living a more Christian life because I don't have to deal with these temptations any more. And I am so happy I chose these things.

Blog Challenge: Day 29.

How Have You Changed in the Past 5 years?

Five years ago was 2010. There are so many things that have changed since then. I have now graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree, worked three different jobs, lived in two different states, four different homes/apartments, and four cities.

I have ended one serious relationship, started another, and had a lot of dates in between. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, my weight has spanned almost 50 pounds, my hair has been every length and color.

I attended beauty school, met several new friends, gained and lost friends along the way.

My dad was diagnosed with a life altering disease. My family and I have gotten closer than ever.

The dog that tops all dogs, my parent's dog Checkers started to suffer so we had to put him down. He died in my arms. There will never be another dog like him.

I would say that, while you're in the changing year and years, you begin to feel as though nothing is changing. However, when you look back over five years, it is mind blowing how many things have changed.

Blog Challenge: Day 26.

Spread the Joy: Happiness Tips

1. Find a church that you connect with.

My journey of faith has been long with some ups and downs, but recently I found a church that is the essence of everything I could hope for in a church. The worship music is amazing and the people seem to be young, open, and faith-filled. I ENJOY going every week. It doesn't bother me to wake up early on Sunday morning to attend the service. I love the class I am taking through the church about getting to know your strengths (more on this to come). I just finally found a place where I can grow in my spirituality without dealing with some of the politics and pressures that some churches are known for. 

NOTE: This tip is one that I found worked for me. However, if you aren't religious, this can be just as easily worked into your happiness project with finding a gym, yoga class, art studio, chair to sit in, room to be in, it doesn't have to be a place or worship, but just a place that you can escape to that you connect with. 

2. Write in a journal.

I don't always write, but when I do, I feel so much better. Sometimes we have ideas, thoughts, feelings that we don't feel comfortable sharing with those we are close to. I know that I deal with some thoughts that no one wants to hear about. Some are just silly, some are things I find sad, and sometimes I am not ready to share them with anyone. So I carry a small notebook with me and write things when the mood strikes. This isn't every day, but I do it often. I find it's easier to share how I am feeling when I just empty my brain about it, I write and write and write. Then I can finally see the forest through the trees. There are people who write every single day, and that just isn't me. I like to give myself the freedom to write when I am moved to.

3. Read.

It doesn't matter what you read. It just matters that you do it. I know there are some people out there who hate reading books, they only look at magazines. That's fine. What I find more important about this tip is to simply unplug. Give your brain and eyes a rest from the television, your phone, iPad, tablet, computer, and allow yourself that time without technology. I have yet to jump on the e-reader band wagon, so I still go to the library and spend hours picking out books. I love the smell and feel of a real book in my hands. It's important to me to have that weight in my hands and feel the accomplishment as I turn the page. I have started doing this before bed and it has made a world of difference. I sleep better, I wake up feeling more rested. There is a lot to be said about relaxing before sleeping.

4. Nap.

Speaking of sleeping, I love to sleep. I love to read and I love to sleep. So whenever I get a free afternoon on a Saturday, I will lay in my bed on top of the covers and allow myself to rest. It is one of my favorite things to do. I have read that ever since the light bulb was invented, humans have been sleep deprived. I find this interesting, because I can't remember a time when I wasn't a little bit tired. However, I also have this gift. One of those stupid super powers people have, like always being able to find a great parking spot, or cooking eggs perfectly, every time without fail. Mine is that I can fall asleep almost instantly: anywhere, any time of day. I could sleep for twelve hours, wake up and fall asleep for a nap later in the day. It's a gift, and I like to take full advantage. Plus, after a nap, I always feel so much better, rested, revived, and I feel more ready for whatever comes next.

5. Challenge yourself.

I know that we all set up challenges for ourselves. And with the New Year having just passed, there is a lot to be said about New Years Resolutions. However, I think that sometimes, in the spirit of a Fresh Year and a Fresh Start, we all get a little ambitious with our resolutions. We think that a New Year means we can start anything and everything. I say 'we' because I am exactly the same way! I find it so hard to do any large changes when it isn't a New Year, New Month, or New Week. It seems so strange to me to start a challenge on a Thursday. However, I think that whenever we need to make a change, or want to make a change, we should do it. Something that makes me so happy is challenging myself and succeeding. It makes you feel so accomplished. So I like to challenge myself to not eat any candy for a week. And when I make it through the challenge, I reward myself with a little something. And that can make you feel so happy. When we look are large goals, it seems like it is so hard to see the little successes in between. "I want to lose 30 pounds." That can seem a little intimidating, so make it smaller challenges and you will be so happy with the results. An example would be: for the first 5 pounds lost, I will reward myself with a pedicure, when I love half of that, I will reward myself with new shoes, when I lose all of it, I will reward myself with a full body massage. Its the little success that make me happy, but they can't be success without a little challenge.

Blog Challege: Day 11.

React to This: Letting Go

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My Type 1 Diabetes Breakdown.

I wanted to write a post about this because I am working on my journey, and it is something that will make it more of a challenge for me.

I don't want this to be a medical post, but more emotional and personal.

I was diagnosed with Diabetes on October 25, 2012. I had been feeling physically terrible and emotionally drained. I thought it was just because of some emotional hardships I was dealing with. I couldn't go an entire day without a two-hour nap, and resting or laying down most of the day. I was really sad and hard on myself because I didn't know what my problem was! I couldn't figure out my energy levels and what was making me feel so low. It was hard on my heart and self-esteem.

Looking back on it, I think I was struggling and fighting the battle with Diabetes for a few years before I was actually diagnosed. I was always thirsty and always using the bathroom, I was eating anything, and everything I wanted and maintaining my weight, my ankles were swelling, and when I got sick, I was sick for weeks! It all seemed, to me, to be a coincidence. I went to my family doctor and even saw a specialist for my ankles and I just couldn't get an answer. I was told that it was my age, the ankle swelling was lack of circulation.

So I suffered, and suffered. Well, in October, it got really bad. I was sick and sad and felt like I was slowing losing myself and my health. So I found a doctor in my area, a holistic doctor that had beautiful reviews. She was amazing on paper, I was sold, so I called and made an appointment.

The second I got there I felt better already. They took me back, the nurse had purple hair and tattoos! So the doctor came in and gave me a hug. Done. It was the best I had felt at a doctor in a long time. So she had my blood drawn, we talked about all my other problems and if I was struggling with anything else. Personal, medical, psychological, she wanted me to open up about everything so she could get a sense of me as a whole. I felt so good about going there and speaking to her and I almost felt healed when I left. She hugged me again and I cried knowing I had a doctor who wanted to know what was wrong as much as I did.

The next morning when they got the test results back from my blood, they called me right away and explained that there were some inconsistencies. So I walked over (Yes! I lived close enough to walk!) and they told me that they believed I was diabetic. My blood sugar was 346 (and at the time of the blood draw, I hadn't eaten since the night before)! I had an appointment with an Endocrinologist three days later, and I started the long journey of learning about insulin and carbs, sugars, and proteins. I have gone to see several endocronologists since diagnosis, and I struggle to find one that I like. This is still such an emotional journey for me, I know there are so many things that can go wrong, and it makes it overwhelming.

Now, I think I should get a little medical for a moment so this is better understood. Type I Diabetes is when your body, specifically your pancreas, doesn't produce any insulin at all. Some people are born with this, some people develop it over time, and some people are fine one day and not the next. It all depends. So many factors go into it. I developed it later than most. The older term is "Childhood Diabetes". This differs from Type II Diabetes, which happens later in life and is due to diet and food choices over time. It causes your pancreas to produce insulin irregularly, or only partially enough. Type II Diabetes can be reversed, and Type I Diabetes cannot.

As for blood sugar numbers. Normal people are between 70-120 when fasting, or haven't had anything to eat, and up to 180 when they have eaten. And that is what my blood sugar should be too. However, it takes a little more work than just my body. I have to inject myself four times a day, usually. Sometimes more, if my blood sugar is super high, or if I eat more than three times a day. That's all. The fourth injection is "long acting insulin". That is a different kind of insulin and partners with the short acting insulin to keep my blood sugars stable. Lows are bad, highs are bad, but like anything, it all takes a while to figure out and understand.

Since my diagnosis, I have gone through several stages of grief. It is hard to decide if I am glad that I got it later in life, or I wished I had gotten it sooner so it wouldn't all be so overwhelming. The grass is never greener on the other side. It may seem that way until you get there. 

I am learning every day about my internal struggles with it and gaining knowledge about my own body, how I react to foods, how my numbers change.

There is no secret to the fact that I am more mad than anything that I was cursed with this. I just know that I can either use it as a way to get myself healthy in all aspects, or I can use it as an excuse. I make it a mountain, or I can make it a speed bump. Part of this new year is learning more about my diabetes and focusing on that, rather than all the bad that is comes with. Quite honestly, if I am trying to be objective, it is hard, but it isn't the worst thing. There are so many things that people have to deal with Diabetes seems to be right in the middle: plenty of things in life are better to deal with than T1D, but there is a giant list of things that are so much worse than it too.

I am reclaiming my body, I am hoping to unearth some things about myself, and who knows! This could open doors for me within in the Diabetic community. Maybe this is actually a blessing to use to help everyone else? God works in mysterious ways.

If you have any questions or I need to clarify anything, let me know! I know this is a lot to throw at you. But I thought it was pertinent! I talk about it often, and its very much something I deal with and struggle with every day.

Blog Challenge: Day 5.

Nine Guilty Pleasures

1. Ice cream as a food group.

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2. Teen Romance/Fantasy Novels

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3. Going to bed at 8pm.

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4. YouTube videos.

 

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5. Hilary Duff anything.

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6. Tumblr.

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7. QVC.

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8. Kourtney Kardashian's Instagram.

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9. Milk.

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Blog Challenge: Day 4.

Twenty Facts or Things About You

1. I have green eyes.

2. I have 4 piercings.

3. I have 4 tattoos.

4. I studied abroad in Ireland.

5. I have not planned out my wedding like most girls.

6. I have dyed my hair a lot of times, a lot of colors.

7. I have naturally curly hair and hate it when it's straight.

8. I believe I am being called to North Carolina.

9. I have a strong relationship with the number 8.

10. I have a Goddess Mama who I cherish with everything I am.

11. My brother is my best friend.

12. I am a fairly extroverted introvert.

13. I love birthdays, except my own.

14. I want zero children or four children: no in between.

15. I believe that my boyfriend and I were meant to be together.

16. I am definitely a morning person.

17. I am way harder on myself than I should be.

18. I have a small group of quality friends and I like it.

19. My parents are still together after 32 years.

20. My two favorite past times are: reading and sleeping.

Blog Challenge: Day 3.

Favorite Quotes or Song Lyrics.

This is a challenge day that has my name written ALL OVER IT!

I simply love quotes. I write them down all over the place. I highlight them in books, in my bible. I read quote books and inspirational pins. Songs are just quotes and poems put to a melody. I have listed a few here for you.

 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

"Your life only needs to go in one direction: forward. If anything behind you belongs where you are, it will find it's way by catching up." Gentlemanhood.com

  

"Anyone who thinks sunshine is happiness has never danced in the rain." Unknown

"Walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

"Don't let your mind bully your body." Unknown

"Love will always be a tough job for the wrong person." Gentlemanhood

"Put on your shades 'cuz I'll be dancing in the flames." Lady Gaga Edge of Glory

Blog Challenge: Day 1.

Tell Your Life Story in 300 Words or Less.

I was born June 8^th, 1988.

I still remember what it is like to be an only child.

My brother was born on January 3^rd, 1993.

My mother’s name begins with S.

My father’s name begins with S.

My brother’s name begins with S.

My name begins with L. Go figure.

I attended Kindergarten at a Montessori School.

I spent first grade through fourth grade at a private Catholic School.

I spent fifth through eighth grade at a public school.

I spent high school at a private Catholic School.

I worked in a restaurant during my Junior and Senior year of high school.

I spent college at a public university.

I graduated with a bachelor’s in Liberal Arts.

I have always been close with my parents.

I moved to Los Angeles, CA for 8 months with my best friend.

I’ve worked in retail several times and, although I hate it, I am really good at it.

I went to beauty school to become an esthetician and a make-up artist.

I found out I am Type 1 Diabetic at the age of 24.

I was a nanny for one and half years.

I met the love of my life through a mutual friend.

We are no longer friends with her, but we are still together.

I found a wonderful, full time job with Benefits (necessary with T1D).

I moved in with my boyfriend and we couldn’t be happier.

We got our first Christmas Tree, real Christmas Tree, together this year.

I have recently started building a relationship with God again, and it makes me very emotional.

I love music, movies, ice cream, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

I have been told I am an artist, but I say I’m more of a crafter.

I love to be clean and organized.

Blog Challenge.

Good morning folks!

It is a new year, a new me, and a new blog!

I was trying to think of something I could do to start my blog off strong!

What better way then to work through a 31 day challenge that allows me to talk on several topics and offer a true sense of who I am as a woman, person, heart, soul in this world.

I already posted my introduction but I wanted to dive right in.

When I am excited about things, I need to go full force into it! And blogging feels like something I will really enjoy.

So welcome to my 31 Day Blog Challenge! January has 31 days, so I am going to do a blog post a day for 31 days. Here is a list of days and what I will be writing on! Feel free to link your own blog or any challenges you have done. I am always happy to chat and make new friends.

31 DAY BLOG CHALLENGE (found here):
Day 1: Tell Your Life Story in 300 Words or Less
Day 2: 5 Super Cool Things About Your City or Town
Day 3: Favourite Quotes or Song Lyrics
Day 4: 20 Facts or Things About You
Day 5: 9 Guilty Pleasures
Day 6: 5 Random Acts of Kindness That Inspire You
Day 7: 5 Recommended Reads (These can be books, websites, blogs etc.)
Day 8: Discuss Something You Have Read Online & Link to It
Day 9: Tell Us About An Interesting Documentary You Have Watched
Day 10. Dinner Party Wish List (Anyone dead, alive or fictional )
Day 11: React to This: Letting Go
Day 12: 5 Amazing …(Songs, films, artists, books, websites etc.)
Day 13: 5 Spectacular ….(As above, but choose a different category)
Day 14: 5 Things You Can’t Live Without
Day 15: 5 Things That Make You Uncomfortable
Day 16: 5 Best Things About Being a Woman or Man
Day 17: 5 Film or TV Shows You Would Recommend & Why
Day 18: Something You Find Fascinating
Day 19: Favourite Faery or Folk Tale
Day 20: React to This: Positivity
Day 21: Finish This Story in Under 500 Words:
              The flash of light momentarily blinded him, and he wondered how it had all come to this.
Day 22: What Do You Miss (Person, place, thing or time in your life)
Day 23: 5 People Who Inspire You
Day 24: Things You Made (This can be a craft, piece of art, website, film, music video, song, poem etc.)
Day 25: 5 Favourite Blogs & Why You Love Them
Day 26: Happiness Tips: Spread the Joy Around
Day 27: In Pictures: Things that Inspire You
Day 28: 5 Pieces of Advice to Your Younger Self
Day 29: How You Have Changed in the Past 5 Years
Day 30: 5 Things You Achieved in the Past Year
Day 31: 5 Goals for the Next 12 Months