Blog Challenge: Thoughts and Feelings.

I have had a little bit of time to let the Blog Challenge sit, and stew. I have reflected on it. And I have found that I enjoyed it so much!

Was I all for it the entire month? No. There were days when I didn't want to post, or days when I looked at the clock and realized I was going to bed without having done my blog post for the day. However, when I look over it, I think there is a lot to be said about a routine, and schedule for a blog. Especially when you are new to blogging. With sporadic posts, it is hard to gain and audience, and though the blog posts didn't really relate to my theme of this blog, I knew that I was giving readers a chance to get to know me.

So, while I am happy it is over, I think I will search for ANOTHER blog challenge to do in the near future. Maybe I will do one a little more open ended. Or maybe I will create my own. The wheels are turning here, to see what I can do for my readers, and for this blog.

Brainstorming is something I never thought I would do for a blog, but I think it is necessary. If I want this to become a habit, something important, and a hobby that I enjoy, I will need content and I will need regularity.

So, overall, I loved to Blog Challenge. LOVED IT! It was definitely a challenge, but all good things are. I am excited to start posting some of the ideas I have.

Welcome to my Blog!

Challenges in Place.

I have some challenges that I want to set for myself. It always makes things more fun when I am challenged, rather than doing things just for the sake of doing them. Sometimes when there isn't a challenge or motivation behind something, I let it fall to the way-side. There is a lot to be said about "The 30 Day Sugar Detox Challenge", "The 31-Day Blog Challenge", "52 Weeks to Organized Challenge".

This Blog Challenge really opened my eyes to the power of the challenge.

Also, any challenges I set for myself, I will document here which will hold me accountable.

It's just a fun way to work on myself while having that tiny extra kick to keep it going.

So! Without further ado:

The first challenge is I am going to set for myself is to walk on my lunch break at least 4 days a week. I used to walk ALL THE TIME before I was working full-time. I would walk at least two hours a day. It felt great, I slept better, I was much slimmer, I had some stamina. It really felt like I was doing something great for myself. Once I started working, I felt like I never had time. I would wake up at 5:30 am, get ready, go to work, get off at 5:00 pm, go home, have dinner, relax, go to bed. No time.... Except I have just as many hours in the day as every other person in the world. So I started to realize that I could easily go on a walk on my lunch. 45 minutes to an hour. Bring my tennis shoes and just walk around. It gets me out of the office, gets my movement and exercise in, and I'm already in work mode anyway. So I did that this week, to try it out, and I love it. It also gets me out of the office and helps me to clear my head. Plus! Bonus! I get to listen to my audio books which adds to the happy me. I would say this is all around a good challenge for my mind, body, and soul.

The second challenge I am going to set for myself is not stepping onto a scale until my birthday. My birthday is on June 8th. I will be 27 years old. I get so hung up on the number and if it isn't going down every day, I freak out and get upset. So, why continue to do that to myself? I'm not going to. I will weigh myself at the doctor's office (they always do that! I turn my head every time). I think there are some changes that come from other things besides the number on the scale. The No-Number Victories. I think it will be beneficial to my psyche and my self esteem. It will help me focus on the other changes that happen.

The third challenge is all about reading. My goal is to read every night before I go to sleep. At least a little bit. Even if that is 2 pages before I fall asleep, I want to do this because it will allow my brain a chance to close out screens and electronics and give me a chance to wind down before bed. 

The fourth and final challenge I have been thinking about is less television. It's so easy to get caught up in a show and watch 4 hours of it before bed on a week night. Or to watch television while you eat dinner. But I don't like it that much. I don't have shows I need to watch on television on certain nights. I was Netflix. So I want to keep the television off three nights a week. I want to see how that goes. This will all Chris and I can make dinner together and play games and talk. That connection time, instead of always just being with one another, this will allow us to be present in our together time.

Sometimes You Need to Write.

There are always times when I feel as though I will just melt if I don't do something drastic. I get a feeling deep in my gut (gut instincts) that I need to do something. Whether that is try something completely new, wear new clothes, move to a new city, start looking for a new job. It is that feeling when you feel like there are a million things that have potential, and you have potential, and you need to do something or you won't be able to breathe.

I am feeling that right now.

I feel as though I can't breathe because I am stuck in the same place, in a routine that doesn't look like it will be changing any time soon. I have a job that is steady, I rent a home with my boyfriend, I have a cat, I have everything I could ever want. But I don't have anything to look forward to. There are little things here and there that I have to look forward to. A painting night with my girlfriends, Valentine's Day, a concert with my boyfriend in July, a friend's wedding in August, a friend's wedding in September. Several things to look forward to, but even with that, I am feel claustrophobic.

My entire life has been about looking forward to things:
Summer vacation
First Day of School
Christmas
Spring Break
My Birthday
High School
Graduating From High School.
Starting College
Studying Abroad
Graduation
Moving to Los Angeles
Moving Home
Finding a Job
Moving in with my Boyfriend
Getting a Pet
Buying a New Sofa

The list could go on and on...

But all of that has lead me to have this overwhelming need to have huge changes in my life. I know that there is a lot to be said about living in the moment, however! There is a lot to be said about living for a moment, an event. It gives you perspective on what you are working so hard for.

A friend of mine just bought a house with her fiance. And the thought of buying a house to settle down in makes me feel like I can't breathe.

Maybe I just have this overwhelming need constantly be changing.

There are these moments when I am feeling this way, and all I want to do is start a blog, read 1,000 books, walk 100 miles, and really just open myself up to all the opportunities that are out there. I hope someday I will accomplish all these things. There is a fire inside of me... but what is it burning for?

I don't know.

I think I need to turn to God and hope that He has some ideas to help me get through my life. I don't turn to him enough. But I want to. Church is really opening me up to all the possibilities that lie in my faith.

I don't want to be one of those people that moves all the time and can't commit to anything because I still want to hang a close group of friends and I still want to find my niche, a place where I know that I will be happy and won't feel claustrophobic. However, I have found it yet.

Blog Challenge: Day 29.

How Have You Changed in the Past 5 years?

Five years ago was 2010. There are so many things that have changed since then. I have now graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree, worked three different jobs, lived in two different states, four different homes/apartments, and four cities.

I have ended one serious relationship, started another, and had a lot of dates in between. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, my weight has spanned almost 50 pounds, my hair has been every length and color.

I attended beauty school, met several new friends, gained and lost friends along the way.

My dad was diagnosed with a life altering disease. My family and I have gotten closer than ever.

The dog that tops all dogs, my parent's dog Checkers started to suffer so we had to put him down. He died in my arms. There will never be another dog like him.

I would say that, while you're in the changing year and years, you begin to feel as though nothing is changing. However, when you look back over five years, it is mind blowing how many things have changed.

Blog Challenge: Day 22.

What Do You Miss (Person, place, thing or time in your life)

Something that has recently come up for me, is missing how things used to be. I have always been close with my family, extremely close, and because of that I was happy to live at home until I was 26 years old. This isn't something I am ashamed of, or something that I hide from people. I branched out, went to college, moved to Los Angeles for 8 months. However, I was never ready to live on my own because the relationship I had with my parents was so great.

I think there is a lot to be said about all the things that I have left to experience in my life. No one knows what is going to happen in the future, and I know that at some point in the coming years I will miss this moment. But that's part of life. We miss the things that are comfortable and familiar. The future is unknown, so when you think back to how things used to be, it is easy to get nostalgic.

I miss when my brother was little and how we used to play trains all day.

I miss when I used to go to school instead of work and always had something fun to talk about.

I miss my grandparents,

I miss liking things that didn't make me one type of person or another.

I miss summer vacation.

I miss my parent's old dog.

I miss not worrying about so many things.

I miss being a kid.

My Type 1 Diabetes Breakdown.

I wanted to write a post about this because I am working on my journey, and it is something that will make it more of a challenge for me.

I don't want this to be a medical post, but more emotional and personal.

I was diagnosed with Diabetes on October 25, 2012. I had been feeling physically terrible and emotionally drained. I thought it was just because of some emotional hardships I was dealing with. I couldn't go an entire day without a two-hour nap, and resting or laying down most of the day. I was really sad and hard on myself because I didn't know what my problem was! I couldn't figure out my energy levels and what was making me feel so low. It was hard on my heart and self-esteem.

Looking back on it, I think I was struggling and fighting the battle with Diabetes for a few years before I was actually diagnosed. I was always thirsty and always using the bathroom, I was eating anything, and everything I wanted and maintaining my weight, my ankles were swelling, and when I got sick, I was sick for weeks! It all seemed, to me, to be a coincidence. I went to my family doctor and even saw a specialist for my ankles and I just couldn't get an answer. I was told that it was my age, the ankle swelling was lack of circulation.

So I suffered, and suffered. Well, in October, it got really bad. I was sick and sad and felt like I was slowing losing myself and my health. So I found a doctor in my area, a holistic doctor that had beautiful reviews. She was amazing on paper, I was sold, so I called and made an appointment.

The second I got there I felt better already. They took me back, the nurse had purple hair and tattoos! So the doctor came in and gave me a hug. Done. It was the best I had felt at a doctor in a long time. So she had my blood drawn, we talked about all my other problems and if I was struggling with anything else. Personal, medical, psychological, she wanted me to open up about everything so she could get a sense of me as a whole. I felt so good about going there and speaking to her and I almost felt healed when I left. She hugged me again and I cried knowing I had a doctor who wanted to know what was wrong as much as I did.

The next morning when they got the test results back from my blood, they called me right away and explained that there were some inconsistencies. So I walked over (Yes! I lived close enough to walk!) and they told me that they believed I was diabetic. My blood sugar was 346 (and at the time of the blood draw, I hadn't eaten since the night before)! I had an appointment with an Endocrinologist three days later, and I started the long journey of learning about insulin and carbs, sugars, and proteins. I have gone to see several endocronologists since diagnosis, and I struggle to find one that I like. This is still such an emotional journey for me, I know there are so many things that can go wrong, and it makes it overwhelming.

Now, I think I should get a little medical for a moment so this is better understood. Type I Diabetes is when your body, specifically your pancreas, doesn't produce any insulin at all. Some people are born with this, some people develop it over time, and some people are fine one day and not the next. It all depends. So many factors go into it. I developed it later than most. The older term is "Childhood Diabetes". This differs from Type II Diabetes, which happens later in life and is due to diet and food choices over time. It causes your pancreas to produce insulin irregularly, or only partially enough. Type II Diabetes can be reversed, and Type I Diabetes cannot.

As for blood sugar numbers. Normal people are between 70-120 when fasting, or haven't had anything to eat, and up to 180 when they have eaten. And that is what my blood sugar should be too. However, it takes a little more work than just my body. I have to inject myself four times a day, usually. Sometimes more, if my blood sugar is super high, or if I eat more than three times a day. That's all. The fourth injection is "long acting insulin". That is a different kind of insulin and partners with the short acting insulin to keep my blood sugars stable. Lows are bad, highs are bad, but like anything, it all takes a while to figure out and understand.

Since my diagnosis, I have gone through several stages of grief. It is hard to decide if I am glad that I got it later in life, or I wished I had gotten it sooner so it wouldn't all be so overwhelming. The grass is never greener on the other side. It may seem that way until you get there. 

I am learning every day about my internal struggles with it and gaining knowledge about my own body, how I react to foods, how my numbers change.

There is no secret to the fact that I am more mad than anything that I was cursed with this. I just know that I can either use it as a way to get myself healthy in all aspects, or I can use it as an excuse. I make it a mountain, or I can make it a speed bump. Part of this new year is learning more about my diabetes and focusing on that, rather than all the bad that is comes with. Quite honestly, if I am trying to be objective, it is hard, but it isn't the worst thing. There are so many things that people have to deal with Diabetes seems to be right in the middle: plenty of things in life are better to deal with than T1D, but there is a giant list of things that are so much worse than it too.

I am reclaiming my body, I am hoping to unearth some things about myself, and who knows! This could open doors for me within in the Diabetic community. Maybe this is actually a blessing to use to help everyone else? God works in mysterious ways.

If you have any questions or I need to clarify anything, let me know! I know this is a lot to throw at you. But I thought it was pertinent! I talk about it often, and its very much something I deal with and struggle with every day.

Blog Challenge: Day 8.

Discuss Something You Have Read Online & Link to It!

21 Lost Gentleman Traditions that Still Apply Today  was a blog post that I found when I was 'surfing the net' (that sounds so old school, but the term is quite accurate). It sounded interesting, and another thing that I could casually send to my boyfriend, just as a nudge in the right direction. 

Once I began reading though, I realized that this isn't something that should be limited to men that are in relationships. It goes for young men out to dinner with their mother, fathers having an outing with their daughters, grandfathers spending quality time with grandchildren, mutual friends working on a school project. It is a great list of universal courtesies that most women find flattering.

I know there is a lot of movements out there that think this type of thing is so degrading to women, it shows that they are less than men, that they need to be taken care of by a man, that its setting the women's movement back. However, I don't believe that is what these truths are getting at. It's more of a push towards mutual respect. That a man is willing to rise when a woman comes to a table is a sign of respect, holding the door open for a woman, or anyone for that matter, is a sign of respect.

The one that stood out to me was the care of a woman's safety by walking them to their car or door. Women's greatest source of fear is men. That could also stir a lot of controversy, however, I know for myself that walking alone at night, I am not scared of a dog, another woman, or traffic, but rather I get the uneasy feeling in my stomach from the thought of being abducted by a man.

Putting all that aside though, I know that I am always appreciative of the little things! And having a man open my car door for me because he wants to is a gesture that goes a long way. 

However, as I was reading this, I realized that this is a list of things that can be taken throughout any relationship. Women with women, men with men, parents with children, friends, coworkers. It offers a mutual line of respect when you can put other people above yourself in these small ways.

I am more of a traditional gal, but that doesn't mean I expect all these things every time. I just know that when my father, brother, or boyfriend takes initiative, I notice and I greatly appreciate it.

Photo Credit

Blog Challenge: Day 6.

Five Random Acts of Kindness that Inspire You

1. My dad told me about a man he worked with. This was a gruff, grouchy, bold man who didn't shy away from an argument. He had three kids who had been begging him for a puppy for years. Finally he said, "We can get a dog. Not a puppy." The kids were ecstatic! So the family went to the animal shelter the weekend. They looked at all the dogs there, however, when it came time to choose one, this man went to a staff member and asked, "Which dog has been here the longest?" Taken back, the staffer took them to look at a sad dog. He looked at the dog, looked at his kids, turned to the staff member and said, "We'll take her!"

2. My coworker was sent a stack of coupons for free sub sandwiches from a local place. Instead of giving them to coworkers and friends, she took them to the homeless shelter and asked the staff to hand them to all the people who come through the homeless shelter.

3. My boyfriend had an all-nighter planned with his friends, so before he left for work (he leaves after me) he cleaned the kitchen, built a fire that was ready to light, and made me a salad for dinner. He did all of that because he loves me. Such a sweet and unexpected gesture.

4. My mom and I were walking around a small beach town, and an older woman was getting out of her car. Instead of walking by like so many people were doing, my mom stopped and asked her if she needed help. Simple as that. The woman was extremely appreciative, but declined the help. All she did was ask.

5. I was taking down the holiday decorations at my work yesterday, struggling to wrestle the artificial tree into its box, and so many coworkers snickered and made jokes, however no one offered to help. I have never put up or taken down an artificial tree before. One gentleman saw me struggling and swooped over to take charge and took the whole thing down, boxed it up, and delivered it to the basement.

Blog Challenge: Day 4.

Twenty Facts or Things About You

1. I have green eyes.

2. I have 4 piercings.

3. I have 4 tattoos.

4. I studied abroad in Ireland.

5. I have not planned out my wedding like most girls.

6. I have dyed my hair a lot of times, a lot of colors.

7. I have naturally curly hair and hate it when it's straight.

8. I believe I am being called to North Carolina.

9. I have a strong relationship with the number 8.

10. I have a Goddess Mama who I cherish with everything I am.

11. My brother is my best friend.

12. I am a fairly extroverted introvert.

13. I love birthdays, except my own.

14. I want zero children or four children: no in between.

15. I believe that my boyfriend and I were meant to be together.

16. I am definitely a morning person.

17. I am way harder on myself than I should be.

18. I have a small group of quality friends and I like it.

19. My parents are still together after 32 years.

20. My two favorite past times are: reading and sleeping.

Blog Challenge: Day 3.

Favorite Quotes or Song Lyrics.

This is a challenge day that has my name written ALL OVER IT!

I simply love quotes. I write them down all over the place. I highlight them in books, in my bible. I read quote books and inspirational pins. Songs are just quotes and poems put to a melody. I have listed a few here for you.

 "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:5

"Your life only needs to go in one direction: forward. If anything behind you belongs where you are, it will find it's way by catching up." Gentlemanhood.com

  

"Anyone who thinks sunshine is happiness has never danced in the rain." Unknown

"Walk by faith, not by sight." 2 Corinthians 5:7

"Don't let your mind bully your body." Unknown

"Love will always be a tough job for the wrong person." Gentlemanhood

"Put on your shades 'cuz I'll be dancing in the flames." Lady Gaga Edge of Glory

Blog Challenge: Day 2.

Five Super Cool Things about Your City or Town

I was born and raised in Portland, OR. I absolutely love this place and would recommend everyone visit at least once!

It is widely believed that it rains ALL THE TIME here, but it doesn't rain nearly as much as you might think. Don't get me wrong. When it rains, it RAINS! But we have many, many days that it doesn't rain at all.

Not to mention, with all the rain comes green landscapes that will take your breath away.

The five things that I love so much about my city are:

1. It is one of the smallest big cities I have ever been to. What I mean by this, is there are so many things to do, but it is all so condensed. Everyone is friendly, there aren't any parts that are too off putting, and there are things for EVERYONE to do. I have lived here for 26 years and I have yet to run out of things to do, however, I also know my way around extremely well. It is so much fun showing new people around the city! Everything is at your finger tips.

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2. There is nature, and green EVERYWHERE. Because we are in the Pacific Northwest we tend to be a much wetter climate, and with that comes green forests, parks, gardens, flowers. We have some of the most beautiful landscape in the world. We are surrounded by it. And with that comes a need and a drive to be a green city as well. I have heard people comment that we are one of the cleanest cities they have been to. People do their part to keep the wonderful environment we are blessed with just that way.

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3. Mt. Hood. We have access to an amazing mountain community that touches on all your snow sport needs. Snow shoeing, snowboarding, skiiing, intertubbing, hiking, cabins in the snow, hot chocolate at the lodge. We have it all, and it is only about a 50 minute drive from the heart of the city. Not to mention the view isn't too bad either!

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4. The ocean. Specifically to beach towns. Here, it is often referred to as the coast, but any way you spin it, we are blessed to have an entire shoreline of public beaches for everyone to enjoy. Unlike some places in the US and the world, every stretch of Oregon Beach is public access. Towns like Cannon Beach, Newport, Astoria, and dozens in between offer the small beach town feel that is as close as a 90 minute drive from the city. Got a dog? Head to the coast. Got some children? Head to the coast. Want a romantic weekend? Head to the coast. Need some time to breathe and reflect? Head to the coast. My heart is at the Oregon Coast.

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5. The drinks. This may sound a little strange, but believe me, Portland, OR is known for a plethora of drinks. The Willamette Valley is home to some of the most famous vineyards in the world. People come and visit specifically for the wine country we offer. We also have an amazing niche in the coffee industry. Stumptown Coffee? That is from Portland, OR. And finally, probably to most well knows is our breweries. Rogue Brewery, McMenamin's Pubs, Widmer Brothers Brewing. Come and stop in. I suggest the Maple Bacon Beer from Rogue Brewery, named after the famous VooDoo Donut.  

Photo Credit

Gosh! I could go on and on. There are so many more things that just five! But this is a good start. Maybe I will dedicate a post to some more of the things I love about Portland, OR. I think I will always love it here. I have an itch to move somewhere new and try to new things, like most people do, but I will always love Portland, and will always want to come back.

Blog Challenge: Day 1.

Tell Your Life Story in 300 Words or Less.

I was born June 8^th, 1988.

I still remember what it is like to be an only child.

My brother was born on January 3^rd, 1993.

My mother’s name begins with S.

My father’s name begins with S.

My brother’s name begins with S.

My name begins with L. Go figure.

I attended Kindergarten at a Montessori School.

I spent first grade through fourth grade at a private Catholic School.

I spent fifth through eighth grade at a public school.

I spent high school at a private Catholic School.

I worked in a restaurant during my Junior and Senior year of high school.

I spent college at a public university.

I graduated with a bachelor’s in Liberal Arts.

I have always been close with my parents.

I moved to Los Angeles, CA for 8 months with my best friend.

I’ve worked in retail several times and, although I hate it, I am really good at it.

I went to beauty school to become an esthetician and a make-up artist.

I found out I am Type 1 Diabetic at the age of 24.

I was a nanny for one and half years.

I met the love of my life through a mutual friend.

We are no longer friends with her, but we are still together.

I found a wonderful, full time job with Benefits (necessary with T1D).

I moved in with my boyfriend and we couldn’t be happier.

We got our first Christmas Tree, real Christmas Tree, together this year.

I have recently started building a relationship with God again, and it makes me very emotional.

I love music, movies, ice cream, and grilled cheese sandwiches.

I have been told I am an artist, but I say I’m more of a crafter.

I love to be clean and organized.

Blog Challenge.

Good morning folks!

It is a new year, a new me, and a new blog!

I was trying to think of something I could do to start my blog off strong!

What better way then to work through a 31 day challenge that allows me to talk on several topics and offer a true sense of who I am as a woman, person, heart, soul in this world.

I already posted my introduction but I wanted to dive right in.

When I am excited about things, I need to go full force into it! And blogging feels like something I will really enjoy.

So welcome to my 31 Day Blog Challenge! January has 31 days, so I am going to do a blog post a day for 31 days. Here is a list of days and what I will be writing on! Feel free to link your own blog or any challenges you have done. I am always happy to chat and make new friends.

31 DAY BLOG CHALLENGE (found here):
Day 1: Tell Your Life Story in 300 Words or Less
Day 2: 5 Super Cool Things About Your City or Town
Day 3: Favourite Quotes or Song Lyrics
Day 4: 20 Facts or Things About You
Day 5: 9 Guilty Pleasures
Day 6: 5 Random Acts of Kindness That Inspire You
Day 7: 5 Recommended Reads (These can be books, websites, blogs etc.)
Day 8: Discuss Something You Have Read Online & Link to It
Day 9: Tell Us About An Interesting Documentary You Have Watched
Day 10. Dinner Party Wish List (Anyone dead, alive or fictional )
Day 11: React to This: Letting Go
Day 12: 5 Amazing …(Songs, films, artists, books, websites etc.)
Day 13: 5 Spectacular ….(As above, but choose a different category)
Day 14: 5 Things You Can’t Live Without
Day 15: 5 Things That Make You Uncomfortable
Day 16: 5 Best Things About Being a Woman or Man
Day 17: 5 Film or TV Shows You Would Recommend & Why
Day 18: Something You Find Fascinating
Day 19: Favourite Faery or Folk Tale
Day 20: React to This: Positivity
Day 21: Finish This Story in Under 500 Words:
              The flash of light momentarily blinded him, and he wondered how it had all come to this.
Day 22: What Do You Miss (Person, place, thing or time in your life)
Day 23: 5 People Who Inspire You
Day 24: Things You Made (This can be a craft, piece of art, website, film, music video, song, poem etc.)
Day 25: 5 Favourite Blogs & Why You Love Them
Day 26: Happiness Tips: Spread the Joy Around
Day 27: In Pictures: Things that Inspire You
Day 28: 5 Pieces of Advice to Your Younger Self
Day 29: How You Have Changed in the Past 5 Years
Day 30: 5 Things You Achieved in the Past Year
Day 31: 5 Goals for the Next 12 Months

Welcome.

Diabetes is not a fun condition to deal with. It is hard, complicated, and has no cure.

BUT!!

That doesn't mean that we can't work on making things a little bit better in other areas!

I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in October 2012.

Between then, and now, I have done so many things that are Diabetes related, and so many more wonderful things that have nothing to do with Diabetes.

I felt like this coming year was a great time to start whining blogging about my journey. I have been through a lot, and there are still so many more things to come.

I need to be held more accountable for myself: my health, my heart, and my life. I need to take better care of Lindsey, and put less care in what other people think about me. I am me. I can't apologize for that.

 

 Happiness isn't always a choice. At least, I don't believe so. I think there is a lot to be said for people who make their own happiness. It is hard to be happy in a world such as ours. There are so many things that bring us down; so many negative things that affect us every single day. And, as humans in this world, we are conditioned to look at the negative and dismiss the positive. 

An example I always use: when I get together with my girlfriends and we start talking about our significant others {whether they are girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, or fiances}, it tends to center around things they have done to wrong us.

"He didn't take out the trash!"

"She left dirty dishes in the sink for 2 days!"

"He hasn't surprised me with flowers in months!"

"He spends so much time on video games!"

And the list continues on and on.

However, when was the last time they we praised the person we share our heart with? It is so much easier to commiserate with our friends about wrongs, and feels so foreign, strange, and sometimes shameful to share all the wonderful things about them.

"He came in after I was asleep, and held me."

"She called to see if she needed to bring home dinner."

"We ate Oreos and shared the milk after we made love."

These are the things we need to share. Spread goodness, hope, and love. It feels so much better to share the good, without sharing the bad.

I have been very guilty of this since I was diagnosed. Having T1D sucks. It isn't a Ferris Wheel of Fun to have to constantly be aware of food, stresses, exercise, environment, the time, supplies, etc. The Diabetic Life isn't something that I would wish on anyone.

HOWEVER!!

Just because it is THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE REAR END a challenge, doesn't mean it has to be an excuse for me to use at will. It is a very real condition that I am faced with, and it isn't anyone's fault. It is simply something that I need to alter my life style for.

The guilt comes in when I use it as an excuse for things that I should NOT use it for. 

My friends plan something I am not interested in. My blood sugars are too high, I'm not feeling well.

I want to eat something I know I shouldn't. I need to eat because I am diabetic.

Gym time is important. I didn't eat properly and my blood sugars will get weird.

I might as well just claim I am in a vegetable state and can't be bothered with anything.

{Please don't misunderstand! I know these are all legitimate issues that we all, as T1Ds, face. But just because they DO happen, doesn't mean I should use them as an excuse in they AREN'T actually happening. I am the girl who cries Diabetic.}

 

Where is this blog post going? I don't quite know. I am COMPLETELY new to blogging. I think this post is just to get me over the threshold. It start the blog, and then from here, I am make this exactly what I envision. Everything starts out a little awkwardly, and then when we know better, we do better. 

[Maya Angelou paraphrased quote]

My small thing, that I want to do in a great way, is open up my soul, my life, and my journey to you. There isn't a TON of resources. I mean there is a lot of research out there. There is a lot of help out there, dos and don'ts, and things like that, but there isn't a lot of support from diabetics living for diabetics.

ESPECIALLY Type 1. The struggles are real, and my friends don't know what I need, and the support I need. Shoving medical advice in my face, or worse... Hard candy when I am high! **CRINGE**

I appreciate the thought, and I usually just smile and say thank you. But communities of people who know exactly what it means to have a low or a high, or people who love chocolate cake, but never know how to dose insulin for it. Bouncing diets and snacks, and just sharing the highs and lows (literally and figuratively) of Type 1 Diabetes.

 

Isn't this little girl adorable?

And she is so right. 

Diabetes aside (because that always needs a plan.), this is something that people need to do a little bit more. The most pertinent example I have is love. For me, all the cliches about it happening when it happens ended up being true. But it goes with anything. When you want something SO MUCH, you lose sight of everything around you. So, we all need to take a step back sometimes, breath a little, trust the universe, God, yourself, fate, destiny, the stars, and you are more free to see what happens.

 

So with all this ramblings, I would just like to say, WELCOME. I am so glad you are here. I am hoping this will be a place to talk about my diabetes, but also to talk about my life.