Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year!


Diabetes is not a fun condition to deal with. It is hard, complicated, and has no cure.
That doesn't mean that we can't work on making things a little bit better in other areas!
I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes in October 2012.
Between then, and now, I have done so many things that are Diabetes related, and so many more wonderful things that have nothing to do with Diabetes.

I felt like this coming year was a great time to start whining blogging about my journey. I have been through a lot, and there are still so many more things to come.
I need to be held more accountable for myself: my health, my heart, and my life. I need to take better care of Lindsey, and put less care in what other people think about me. I am me. I can't apologize for that.

 Happiness isn't always a choice. At least, I don't believe so. I think there is a lot to be said for people who make their own happiness. It is hard to be happy in a world such as ours. There are so many things that bring us down; so many negative things that affect us every single day. And, as humans in this world, we are conditioned to look at the negative and dismiss the positive. 

An example I always use: when I get together with my girlfriends and we start talking about our significant others {whether they are girlfriends, husbands, boyfriends, or fiances}, it tends to center around things they have done to wrong us.
"He didn't take out the trash!"
"She left dirty dishes in the sink for 2 days!"
"He hasn't surprised me with flowers in months!"
"He spends so much time on video games!"
And the list continues on and on.

However, when was the last time they we praised the person we share our heart with? It is so much easier to commiserate with our friends about wrongs, and feels so foreign, strange, and sometimes shameful to share all the wonderful things about them.

"He came in after I was asleep, and held me."
"She called to see if she needed to bring home dinner."
"We ate Oreos and shared the milk after we made love."

These are the things we need to share. Spread goodness, hope, and love. It feels so much better to share the good, without sharing the bad.

I have been very guilty of this since I was diagnosed. Having T1D sucks. It isn't a Ferris Wheel of Fun to have to constantly be aware of food, stresses, exercise, environment, the time, supplies, etc. The Diabetic Life isn't something that I would wish on anyone.
Just because it is THE BIGGEST PAIN IN THE REAR END a challenge, doesn't mean it has to be an excuse for me to use at will. It is a very real condition that I am faced with, and it isn't anyone's fault. It is simply something that I need to alter my life style for.
The guilt comes in when I use it as an excuse for things that I should NOT use it for. 
My friends plan something I am not interested in. My blood sugars are too high, I'm not feeling well.
I want to eat something I know I shouldn't. I need to eat because I am diabetic.
Gym time is important. I didn't eat properly and my blood sugars will get weird.
I might as well just claim I am in a vegetable state and can't be bothered with anything.

{Please don't misunderstand! I know these are all legitimate issues that we all, as T1Ds, face. But just because they DO happen, doesn't mean I should use them as an excuse in they AREN'T actually happening. I am the girl who cries Diabetic.}

Where is this blog post going? I don't quite know. I am COMPLETELY new to blogging. I think this post is just to get me over the threshold. It start the blog, and then from here, I am make this exactly what I envision. Everything starts out a little awkwardly, and then when we know better, we do better. 
[Maya Angelou paraphrased quote]

My small thing, that I want to do in a great way, is open up my soul, my life, and my journey to you. There isn't a TON of resources. I mean there is a lot of research out there. There is a lot of help out there, dos and don'ts, and things like that, but there isn't a lot of support from diabetics living for diabetics.
ESPECIALLY Type 1. The struggles are real, and my friends don't know what I need, and the support I need. Shoving medical advice in my face, or worse... Hard candy when I am high! **CRINGE**

I appreciate the thought, and I usually just smile and say thank you. But communities of people who know exactly what it means to have a low or a high, or people who love chocolate cake, but never know how to dose insulin for it. Bouncing diets and snacks, and just sharing the highs and lows (literally and figuratively) of Type 1 Diabetes.

Isn't this little girl adorable?
And she is so right. 
Diabetes aside (because that always needs a plan.), this is something that people need to do a little bit more. The most pertinent example I have is love. For me, all the cliches about it happening when it happens ended up being true. But it goes with anything. When you want something SO MUCH, you lose sight of everything around you. So, we all need to take a step back sometimes, breath a little, trust the universe, God, yourself, fate, destiny, the stars, and you are more free to see what happens.

So with all this ramblings, I would just like to say, WELCOME. I am so glad you are here. I am hoping this will be a place to talk about my diabetes, but also to talk about my life.