Seems like all I ever do is ramble on this blog. However, because it's my blog, and I am so new to the game, I haven't found my rhythm yet. So I ramble...
Lent has been going on for 30 days. There are 17 days until Easter. I gave up sweets, alcohol, and Facebook for Lent because those are things that I use to hinder myself from other things that will grow me as a person.
Facebook has been the best one. I have decided that I CANNOT wait for Lent to be over because then I can delete my Facebook and move on with my life. I don't like it at all and I can't wait to do it. It was something I used out of boredom, as well as using it to look at other people with envy, and lust for their lives instead of living my own. It's going to be so wonderful. I cannot wait!
Alcohol is something that I hadn't had for quite a while before Lent started. It has never been a large part of my life, and quite honestly, I took Lent as a way to get out of drinking with my friends. It gives me a tangible reason as to why I don't want to drink. It allows me to use my religion and faith as a proper explanation as to not wanting to partake. I think I will continue this one after Lent. It is something that doesn't give me anything, it doesn't expand my heart or soul or mind or world. It just isn't something I am interested in. I would much rather have a piece of cake, than two cosmopolitans.
Speaking of cake! Let's talk about the finally item on my Lent List: sweets. I had two or three handfuls of M&M's on the Sunday Lent started, as well as a piece of homemade chocolate cake. It was the Academy Award Party, and I couldn't pass it up. However, after that, nothing has crossed my lips that I gave up. I decided to define sweets as anything you can have for dessert. Cookies, donuts, cake, candy, brownies, chocolate, etc. Things that I have used to satisfy my sweet tooth without breaking Lent: small (or LARGE) glass of chocolate milk, graham crackers and milk, YoPlait Banana Cream Pie yogurt, fruit. At a family birthday party, I had a coconut cup with raspberries and dark chocolate, however I decided that didn't count because it was mostly fruit, and I didn't like it so I hardly ate any of it (Sorry Kathy!). So, since I have been doing so well, I think I may just stick it out until my birthday and have my favorite cake in the entire world. And eat the entire cake by myself. The cravings have subsided drastically from what they used to be. I still want things, however, I don't NEED them. Its liberating to not worry about it all the time.
And because I AM diabetic, alcohol and sweets mess with my numbers so much! So it's just best to work towards not worrying about it. And I think I have made some wonderful progress.
That's all I got. I am working towards a new lap top, and I am hoping that if I work towards that, then I will be able to blog more, and better. At least I hope so.
Thursday, March 19, 2015
Thursday, March 12, 2015
all bugs can be organized into one of three categories: homies, chillers, and haters. hornets and wasps are haters. mosquitoes are haters. most spiders are homies cuz they eat shitty bugs, some spiders are chillers cuz they dont really do anything, but also some spiders are haters because they’ll kill you. learn to tell the difference. bees are homies but they become haters if you fuck with them. most beetles are chillers but if they’re the kind of beetle that flies really fast at your face then they’re haters.
Tuesday, March 10, 2015
I haven't written in a while. Boo! And I have missed it. Asking for more responsibility at work means only one thing... You get it! And with that, comes a lot less down time, and exhaustion after work. The only things I have been doing consistently are going to bed early and watching Netflix. Beyond that, I can barely bring myself to want to go to Target after work. Which is weird, because I always, always go to Target. Like once or twice a week...
I digress. Motivation is something that seems to hit the most when you don't have the time to do anything, or, more specifically, the energy (Thank you Diabetes for taking all my energy). I am motivated by SO MUCH! There are so many things I want and would love to do! I just can't seem to grasp the 'thing' that will allow me to jump in head first.
Somethings that hold me back: fear of judgement, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of lacking. These are the things that keep us all from doing what we wish we could do. What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? Let me write you a list! Fear, you suck! But you are also so real.
So I thought I would turn to the blog to ramble. And what do I love the most? Literature. I love reading. It is always my number one thing when asked what I like to do. I could read for 100 hours in a row and love every second. I have been known to lose sleep around a good book, and that's okay with me! I tends to be the one thing that I am willing to lose sleep over (much to my boyfriend's chagrin since he wants to watch movies and eat ice cream until 2am)!
Well! I want to be the reason someone stays up late at night, the reason someone find courage in a horrible situation, the reason some one laughs out loud, or cries, or changes their goal in life because a book character did. I want to write a book!
Reading all the time, I have developed a little bit of knowledge about what works and what doesn't in a book. For example, if there isn't enough back story, the reader can't connect with the characters, however if there is too much back story, the readers can't connect with the story. How to achieve the perfect balance, not impossible, but not easy. I am not a writer. I love the idea of being a great writer, I love that so many people are good at it, and I really enjoyt that there isn't a limit to writing. You can create your own world, realm, universe and it is solely yours. I have my reality, I have my main character. However, I don't think I have enough yet to make a story. I am just getting to know her. We have only hung out a few times. But I can see us getting deeper and deeper as our relationship blooms.
So, I am hoping this is a great something that I can work towards. I have been in need of a new personal computer, so I believe that is something I will work towards. Right now, I only have my boyfriends desktop computer and I don't like it. He is so generous to let me use it, but it just doesn't feel like mine. I don't think he would snoop, or even cares what I do on there, but I would just feel more comfortable if it were mine.
Okay! Ramblings complete...