Saturday, January 31, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 31.

5 Goals for the Next 12 Months

1. Continue to post on this Blog.

2. Continue to work towards a healthy me.

3. Work hard towards a better A1c.

4. Start taking Sign Language.

5. Have a five year plan.

BONUS:

6. Read!

7. Get involved in my church.

Friday, January 30, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 30.

5 Things You Achieved in the Past Year

1. Found a job and career path that I love.

2. Moved in with my boyfriend.

3. Started this blog (talk about terrifying!) !!

4. Opened up to Friends and Families about my struggles with Diabetes.

5. Applied to take American Sign Language Classes at a local University.

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 29.

How Have You Changed in the Past 5 years?

Five years ago was 2010. There are so many things that have changed since then. I have now graduated from college with a Bachelor's Degree, worked three different jobs, lived in two different states, four different homes/apartments, and four cities.

I have ended one serious relationship, started another, and had a lot of dates in between. I was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes, my weight has spanned almost 50 pounds, my hair has been every length and color.

I attended beauty school, met several new friends, gained and lost friends along the way.

My dad was diagnosed with a life altering disease. My family and I have gotten closer than ever.

The dog that tops all dogs, my parent's dog Checkers started to suffer so we had to put him down. He died in my arms. There will never be another dog like him.

I would say that, while you're in the changing year and years, you begin to feel as though nothing is changing. However, when you look back over five years, it is mind blowing how many things have changed.

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 28.

5 Pieces of Advice to Your Younger Self

1. Appreciate your body! 

You don't have to love it, but appreciate what you have.

2. It's okay to put yourself first sometimes.

It's not realistic to say always, but it is something that is okay every now and then.

3. Cherish the important family moments.

Put the phone down and watch television with your family.

4. Don't take advice from people who you don't hold in the highest regard.

Just because they are your friends, doesn't always mean they know best.

5. Change your major in college when you thought about it the first time.

Not that I am not happy with where I am, but having a major I am passionate about my have pushed me into a career a little sooner.

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 27.

Things that Inspire You (Pictures)

I always pin on Pinterest. The things I like to pin the most, are things that inspire me.

Check it out!

Monday, January 26, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 26.

Spread the Joy: Happiness Tips

1. Find a church that you connect with.

My journey of faith has been long with some ups and downs, but recently I found a church that is the essence of everything I could hope for in a church. The worship music is amazing and the people seem to be young, open, and faith-filled. I ENJOY going every week. It doesn't bother me to wake up early on Sunday morning to attend the service. I love the class I am taking through the church about getting to know your strengths (more on this to come). I just finally found a place where I can grow in my spirituality without dealing with some of the politics and pressures that some churches are known for. 
NOTE: This tip is one that I found worked for me. However, if you aren't religious, this can be just as easily worked into your happiness project with finding a gym, yoga class, art studio, chair to sit in, room to be in, it doesn't have to be a place or worship, but just a place that you can escape to that you connect with. 

2. Write in a journal.

I don't always write, but when I do, I feel so much better. Sometimes we have ideas, thoughts, feelings that we don't feel comfortable sharing with those we are close to. I know that I deal with some thoughts that no one wants to hear about. Some are just silly, some are things I find sad, and sometimes I am not ready to share them with anyone. So I carry a small notebook with me and write things when the mood strikes. This isn't every day, but I do it often. I find it's easier to share how I am feeling when I just empty my brain about it, I write and write and write. Then I can finally see the forest through the trees. There are people who write every single day, and that just isn't me. I like to give myself the freedom to write when I am moved to.

3. Read.

It doesn't matter what you read. It just matters that you do it. I know there are some people out there who hate reading books, they only look at magazines. That's fine. What I find more important about this tip is to simply unplug. Give your brain and eyes a rest from the television, your phone, iPad, tablet, computer, and allow yourself that time without technology. I have yet to jump on the e-reader band wagon, so I still go to the library and spend hours picking out books. I love the smell and feel of a real book in my hands. It's important to me to have that weight in my hands and feel the accomplishment as I turn the page. I have started doing this before bed and it has made a world of difference. I sleep better, I wake up feeling more rested. There is a lot to be said about relaxing before sleeping.

4. Nap.

Speaking of sleeping, I love to sleep. I love to read and I love to sleep. So whenever I get a free afternoon on a Saturday, I will lay in my bed on top of the covers and allow myself to rest. It is one of my favorite things to do. I have read that ever since the light bulb was invented, humans have been sleep deprived. I find this interesting, because I can't remember a time when I wasn't a little bit tired. However, I also have this gift. One of those stupid super powers people have, like always being able to find a great parking spot, or cooking eggs perfectly, every time without fail. Mine is that I can fall asleep almost instantly: anywhere, any time of day. I could sleep for twelve hours, wake up and fall asleep for a nap later in the day. It's a gift, and I like to take full advantage. Plus, after a nap, I always feel so much better, rested, revived, and I feel more ready for whatever comes next.

5. Challenge yourself.

I know that we all set up challenges for ourselves. And with the New Year having just passed, there is a lot to be said about New Years Resolutions. However, I think that sometimes, in the spirit of a Fresh Year and a Fresh Start, we all get a little ambitious with our resolutions. We think that a New Year means we can start anything and everything. I say 'we' because I am exactly the same way! I find it so hard to do any large changes when it isn't a New Year, New Month, or New Week. It seems so strange to me to start a challenge on a Thursday. However, I think that whenever we need to make a change, or want to make a change, we should do it. Something that makes me so happy is challenging myself and succeeding. It makes you feel so accomplished. So I like to challenge myself to not eat any candy for a week. And when I make it through the challenge, I reward myself with a little something. And that can make you feel so happy. When we look are large goals, it seems like it is so hard to see the little successes in between. "I want to lose 30 pounds." That can seem a little intimidating, so make it smaller challenges and you will be so happy with the results. An example would be: for the first 5 pounds lost, I will reward myself with a pedicure, when I love half of that, I will reward myself with new shoes, when I lose all of it, I will reward myself with a full body massage. Its the little success that make me happy, but they can't be success without a little challenge.

Bloglovin'

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Sunday, January 25, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 25.

5 Favorite Blogs and Why You Love Them.


I love outfit of the day posts. I like to drool over the choices that other people make and wish that I could wear that shirt with those pants, and I also love to look and see where other people shop. She offers all that with affordable pieces, links everything, and gives you several options for alternatives. She's amazing! And she is stunning. Get ready to "ohhh" and "ahhh" over her style choices.


Once I found this blog, it has become the one I look forward to the most. When I see that she has posted something, it doesn't matter what it is, I will read it from beginning to end. Her writing style makes you fee l as though you are speaking to her rather than reading along with thousands of other people. She opens herself up to everything and it is so much fun to read.


There isn't must to say about it except that there is a little bit of everything.


This girl is dynamite. She writes short and simple posts about all different things. She is in high school but her posts are always helpful in all stages of life. She talks about organizing for school, which can translate to organizing for my job. She does outfits, fitness, personal, and organizational. I enjoy her so much and find myself wishing I had some of the insight she is privileged to have.


This one! What can I say? She is my favorite YouTuber. When I found her channel, I am fairly certain I went through every single video she had posted. Then I went and started reading her blog and I just couldn't get enough of her. The writing style she uses and the way she uses photos, and she also don't just link her videos, but does separate posts that go into similar detail. I find myself looking her post and reading them the second I can.  

Saturday, January 24, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 24.

Things You've Made

I tend to, and have dabbled in the art arena. I like to make my own things and have my own art on my own walls. My tastes have changed since I started doing this, but overall, I have really enjoyed it, and wish that I did it more often than I do.

It is my New Year's Resolution to start doing it more. I haven't felt too inspired lately, but sometimes if I sit down, and force myself to do some artwork, I can make some amazing things.

Here are some pictures of some pieces that I have done.

Enjoy.


Friday, January 23, 2015

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 22.

What Do You Miss (Person, place, thing or time in your life)

Something that has recently come up for me, is missing how things used to be. I have always been close with my family, extremely close, and because of that I was happy to live at home until I was 26 years old. This isn't something I am ashamed of, or something that I hide from people. I branched out, went to college, moved to Los Angeles for 8 months. However, I was never ready to live on my own because the relationship I had with my parents was so great.

I think there is a lot to be said about all the things that I have left to experience in my life. No one knows what is going to happen in the future, and I know that at some point in the coming years I will miss this moment. But that's part of life. We miss the things that are comfortable and familiar. The future is unknown, so when you think back to how things used to be, it is easy to get nostalgic.

I miss when my brother was little and how we used to play trains all day.

I miss when I used to go to school instead of work and always had something fun to talk about.

I miss my grandparents,

I miss liking things that didn't make me one type of person or another.

I miss summer vacation.

I miss my parent's old dog.

I miss not worrying about so many things.

I miss being a kid.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 21.

Finish This Story in Under 500 Words:
      The flash of light momentarily blinded him, and he wondered how it had all come to this. 



He was walking on the side of the main road out of town, a backpack on one shoulder, his dog’s leash in another. The headlights of the car turning down the road in front of him seemed brighter than usual. However, it could have just been the dark night and the rain.

“Austin?! Austin Bridges?! I thought that was you. I recognized The General!”

A woman was shouting at him through the window of her car. She rolled it up and got out. She was under dressed in yoga pants and a white hooded sweatshirt, her feet getting soaked in her flip-flops.  She had something in her hand, but he was so confused as to who this was that he didn’t register what it was.

The bright purple umbrella popped up and over his head and hers. She looked into his face, and he looked down at her. She was familiar, but he couldn’t place her. However, he was saved from the embarrassment of having to ask who she was, because she wasn’t looking at him at all. She had put her hand down and was scratching behind The General’s ear (his favorite spot).

She told him to hold the umbrella and, not knowing what else to do, he took it obediently. She crouched down in a catcher’s position and was giving The General her full attention.

While he worked through all the people who could know his dog like this, she looked up and said, “I’m Gracie. I work at the dog hotel you bring The General to. I have never spoken to you, but I see you come and go. This dog loves you so much! And he is all of our favorites. Why are you walking him in the rain?”
All the pieces were clicking together, he had seen her a few times when he dropped The General off at Le Pooch (the name wasn’t his favorite thing in the world, a little too frilly for his giant English Bulldog, but they had the nicest staff and the acreage they sat on was something you dream about). He had never given her much of a thought, except that The General ran to her when he saw her, and he didn’t run.

He thought about what to say to her. The truth? Or a lie? He was too cold, and wet to be creative with a lie, and it would already take The General hours to dry out if they got out of the rain this second.

“Long story, but my parents think I am on a train to North Carolina State. As you can see, we aren’t.”
 
http://d3o47n6kn1r59u.cloudfront.net/images/dogbreeds/large/English-Bulldog.jpg
 

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 20.

React to This: Positivity

A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a broken spirit saps a person's strength.
Proverbs 17:22


https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c1/ef/2c/c1ef2c93dd82085aa18a1519cdf30780.jpg 

Monday, January 19, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 19.

Favorite Faery or Folk Tale

I studied abroad in Ireland for six weeks when I was a Senior in college. It was the most amazing and special thing that I have ever done. 

I took an Irish Literature class, and we learned about the Giants Causeway and the story behind the unique stones.

This will forever be my favorite story.

The Giants Causeway

 Stories are told of one great Irish Giant, Finn MacCool, whose most fearsome enemies were the Scottish giants. Finn was so angry, and determined to get at them, that he built a whole causeway from Ulster across the sea to Scotland. He built it of unusual six-sided cobblestones, so they would fit neatly together like a honeycomb, and they made a very pretty pavement indeed!

One day he shouted a challenge to the Scottish giant Benandonner, The Red Man, to cross the causeway and fight him. But as soon as he saw the Scot getting closer and closer on the causeway, he realised Benandonner was much, much bigger than he had imagined! Finn skidaddled back home to the Fort-of-Allen in County Kildare, and told his wife he’d picked a fight but had thought better of it now.

Finn heard the stamping feet of Benandonner from Kilcock, and when those feet got to Robertstown, Finn had to stuff five pounds of moss into each ear. Red Man’s spear was as tall and thick as a Round-Tower, and he used it to knock on the door of the Fort-of-Allen. Finn would not answer the door, so his wife shoved him in the great bath with a couple of sheets over him.

Finn’s wife, Oonagh, thought quickly. She opened the door to Benandonner saying,
“Sure it’s a pity but Finn is away hunting deer in County Kerry. Would you like to come in anyway and wait? I’ll show you into the Great Hall to sit down after your journey.”
Oonagh invited Red Man to look around the room, and showed him what she said were some of Finn’s possessions.

“Would you like to put your spear down? Just there next to Finn’s” - It was a huge fir tree with a pointed stone at the top.
“Over there is Finn’s shield.” - It was a block of building-oak as big as four chariot-wheels.
“Finn’s late for his meal. Will you eat it if I cook his favourite?”

Oonagh cooked a cake of griddle-bread – baked with the iron griddle pressed inside it. Red Man bit it hungrily, and broke three front teeth. The meat was a strip of hard fat nailed to a block of red timber; two back teeth cracked. He was given a five-gallon bucket of honey-beer to drink.
“Would you like to say hello to the baby? Wait! - I’ll have to feed her first!”

Oonagh threw a loaf of bread to the huge baby in the bath-cradle and, peeping out from a huge sheet-like dress and bonnet was Finn MacCool himself, contentedly sucking his thumb. Benandonner said he wasn’t much good with babies. The honey-beer made him feel woozy, and he asked to go outside to clear his head.

Oonagh showed Red Man out, where the gardens were scattered about with boulders as tall as the giant.
“Finn and his friends play catch with these rocks. Finn practises by throwing one over the Fort, then running round to catch it before it falls.”

Of course Red Man tried, but it was so heavy he could only just lift it above his head before dropping it. The blow only ricked his neck - luckily the Scotsman’s head was very hard. But it was also full of good sense. He thanked Oonagh for her hospitality and said he would wait no longer, but return to Scotland before the tide came in.

Finn leapt from the cradle, thanked Oonagh for her shrewdness, and chased Benandonner out of Ireland. Passing Portadown, County Antrim, Finn scooped a huge clod of earth out of the ground to fling at the retreating Scot. The hole filled up with water and became the biggest Lough in Ireland – Lough Neagh! The clod he flung missed its target and landed in the middle of the Irish Sea – it became The Isle of Man!!

And both giants tore up the Giant’s Causeway, just leaving the ragged ends at the two shores! And if you go to the North coast of Ulster, or to Staffa, the nearest isle of Scotland, you may visit them today – the ends of the beautiful causeway that is, not the giants – those giants are long since in their graves!


http://www.titanicwalk.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/giants-causeway_2626379b.jpg

Sunday, January 18, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 18.

Something You Find Fascinating

There are so many things that I find fascinating in this world. However, one of the things that I love are conspiracy theories. I don't mean that I buy into all of them, or that I believe they are true or that they are not true, but I love hearing about and speaking to people who believe wholeheartedly in something that not many people do.

To mention a few things I find fascinating:
Big Foot
http://lazerhorse.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/10/New-Yeti-Sighting-Big-Foot-Sasquatch-Pennsylvania-Stoneman-Forest-3.jpg

Mermaids
http://images2.alphacoders.com/152/152632.jpg

Loch Ness Monster
https://xenophilius.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/picture.jpg

Time Travel
http://www.thatsreallypossible.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/time-travel-clock.png
 
Aliens
http://ufonew.ru/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Dartmoor-contrast-3.jpg

Parallel Universes
http://www.hdwallpapersinn.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/portal-to-parallel-universe-1838.jpg

Telekinesis
http://www.astralsociety.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/TELEKINESIS-1.jpg

No one knows everything. This world is too big of a place for these things to be completely disregarded.

Saturday, January 17, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 17.

5 TV Shows You Would Recommend & Why

1. Prison Break: Hot guys, drama, suspense. It kept my interested and on the edge of my seat for the entire series. One I would love to watch all the way through again.

http://papystreaming.com/fr/files/2012/07/Prison-Break.jpg


2. Fringe: Science, supernatural, suspense, drama. This show was never something I was remotely interested in when it was on television. However, once my boyfriend got me started on it, I couldn't stop. It is so different from anything I have ever seen, and it creates so many questions, gets you thinking outside the box, and makes you wonder. The last season was... a struggle but I love this show.

http://cdn.collider.com/wp-content/uploads/fringe-tv-show-poster-01.jpg


3. White Collar: Hot guys, FBI, drama. This was such a fun show. This carried enough humor to keep it from being overly serious, and the bond between the main characters is undeniable enviable. However, it looks at crime shows in a different way. It leaves out the blood and gore for more of a corporate espionage, money laundering, and counterfeiting. I only watched what was on Netflix, so I don't know how to series ends, but I enjoyed every episode I watched.

http://images.enstarz.com/data/images/full/38429/white-collar.jpg


4. Friends. It's Friends.



5. Veronica Mars: Suspense, drama, mystery, comedy. A high school girl who doubles as a Private Investigator? Yes please. No one knows about this show. Or, at least, almost no one. I LOVED it when it was on television (being a high school girl myself), and I loved it even more when I got to watch the entire series on DVD. Same with the second season. And the third. I just adore this show. They even made a movie the continues the story. Just a fun and interesting one.

https://s3.amazonaws.com/ksr/projects/56284/photo-main.jpg?1397767497 

Friday, January 16, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 16.

5 Best Things About Being a Woman or Man

1. Women have the freedom of endless wardrobe options.
2. Women experience less pressure when it comes to dating and relationships.
3. Women have extremely close bonds with one another.
4. Women have a longer life expectancy.
5. Women own their feelings.

BuzzFeed: 30 Reasons Being a Woman is Awesome

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 15.

5 Things That Make You Uncomfortable

1. Anything having to do with eyes.

http://i.huffpost.com/gen/1826025/thumbs/o-EYES-facebook.jpg


2. My Strange Addiction on TLC

 http://popcultureperversion.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/1705745.jpg


3. Low Blood Sugar

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41MzGb908bL.jpg


4. Asking for special treatment (no matter how necessary it is).

http://invisibleillnessweek.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/special-treatment.jpg


5. Receiving compliments. 

https://laurenzapata.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/compliment_008.jpg

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 13.

Five Spectacular Movies

1. The Breakfast Club

 http://content8.flixster.com/movie/11/17/12/11171278_800.jpg

2. The Emporer's New Groove

http://cdnvideo.dolimg.com/cdn_assets/513005ba58d3390ec4d17a355167a7360fc7f3c8.jpg

3. Moulin Rouge

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV5BMTk5Mjg0MzM3MV5BMl5BanBnXkFtZTcwMTEyMjcxMQ@@._V1_SX640_SY720_.jpg

4. My Big Fat Greek Wedding

http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/81Fxm3MDvmL._SL1500_.jpg
5. Sex and the City: The Movie

http://images1.fanpop.com/images/image_uploads/Sex-and-the-City-Movie-Poster-sex-and-the-city-the-movie-1261256_1061_1500.jpg

Monday, January 12, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 12.

5 Amazing …(Songs, films, artists, books, websites etc.)

I think that I am going to choose songs.

I have been in the mood to listen to music and have found some really great songs lately.

My style is to repeat until I have worn it out.

I like to listen to songs until I know all the words.

I am going to choose the songs that I can't get enough of as of late.

1. Ghost by Ella Henderson
2. Shut Up and Dance by WALKTHEMOON
3. Heroes by Alesso
4. Hallelujah by Jeff Buckley
5. Down in the Valley by The Head and The Heart

Sunday, January 11, 2015

Blog Challege: Day 11.

React to This: Letting Go


Hopes and Dreams for 2015.

A new year is upon us! Isn't it a strange feeling to have a completely clean slate? It's like we can't mess anything up. We can be anyone we want to be. You can start anything new. This year I was trying to be less predictable with my resolutions. Everyone wants to lose weight, try new things, eat healthier, write 'thank you' notes. Some people see that as much too typical, predictable, a waste of a resolution. However, isn't part of a resolution to do better than you did before?

So with that, I wanted to share my hopes and dreams for this year.

Church: I would like to go to church 40 Sundays this year.


Recently I have started going to a church in my community. I was introduced to this church by a friend of mine at work, she had been wanting to go there since she moved to Portland from the Mid-West. So I told her I would go with her to try it out. It has been a wonderful experience. It hits all the points that I have always felt my perfect church would hit.

I get excited to go every week, I am so moved each week when we go, and the music at this church. I wish I could put it into words how moving the music is. It feels like the the spirit is within me. I just can't wait to feel that way each week. The more I go, the more I feel closer to God.

I know not everyone is religious, spiritual, but it isn't something I want to shy away from. This is a new part about me that I am exploring and growing in. This will be a great year to get into the new swing of things and the new church. I am also exploring the possibility of a small group through the church.

Learning: I want to begin taking American Sign Language.


I have always been fascinated by Sign Language. When I was in 7th grade, there was a deaf boy in my science class. I didn't ever pay attention to the teacher because I was much too busy watching the interpreter sign the class for the boy. Also, in college, I had several classes with a deaf woman, and again, I couldn't watch the professor because I was so taken with the interpreter. Their hands move beautifully and its just amazing to watch. Communicating without using words seems so wonderful. This year, I am going to start taking it and I will see how it goes. I am so thrilled!

Self-Love: Wash my face every night before bed, brush my teeth after lunch (morning and night too), and take care of my nails.



Just some little things that make me feel so much better. They take no extra time, yet they add so much to your sense of self. I know not everyone does their nails, but it can be something else too. Taking a bath to relax, putting luxurious lotion on after a shower, getting your eye brows waxed, buying new socks. Anything that takes care of you.

This could also be your soul: journaling, praying, reading more, taking evening walks, yoga in the morning, coffee dates with a friend once a week, an afternoon nap on Sundays. It doesn't have to be anything superficial, or anything that must be done to improve your appearance. Just anything that you are doing to better yourself, to open yourself up to the Universe, and just become one with yourself.

Diabetes: Take my Lantus every night.


I want to get better at taking my long acting insulin. It isn't hard to take it, it helps me feel so much better, helps my numbers, and continues my journey to a healthy life with Diabetes.

And though it isn't hard, it is something I forget to do more regularly that I would like. So! To start off, I have set an alarm on my phone for 9:00pm. That is when I take my long acting Lantus insulin. That way, I don't forget. {This also helps me remember to stop eating after 9:00pm. If I am taking my insulin and correcting before bed, then I can't eat anything else, and it isn't good to eat late since I go to bed early anyway.}

Those are my big ones and I think they are things that I want to concentrate on. Vague and specific, these things will continue the betterment of myself.


Saturday, January 10, 2015

My Type 1 Diabetes Breakdown.


I wanted to write a post about this because I am working on my journey, and it is something that will make it more of a challenge for me.

I don't want this to be a medical post, but more emotional and personal.

I was diagnosed with Diabetes on October 25, 2012. I had been feeling physically terrible and emotionally drained. I thought it was just because of some emotional hardships I was dealing with. I couldn't go an entire day without a two-hour nap, and resting or laying down most of the day. I was really sad and hard on myself because I didn't know what my problem was! I couldn't figure out my energy levels and what was making me feel so low. It was hard on my heart and self-esteem.

Looking back on it, I think I was struggling and fighting the battle with Diabetes for a few years before I was actually diagnosed. I was always thirsty and always using the bathroom, I was eating anything, and everything I wanted and maintaining my weight, my ankles were swelling, and when I got sick, I was sick for weeks! It all seemed, to me, to be a coincidence. I went to my family doctor and even saw a specialist for my ankles and I just couldn't get an answer. I was told that it was my age, the ankle swelling was lack of circulation.

So I suffered, and suffered. Well, in October, it got really bad. I was sick and sad and felt like I was slowing losing myself and my health. So I found a doctor in my area, a holistic doctor that had beautiful reviews. She was amazing on paper, I was sold, so I called and made an appointment.

The second I got there I felt better already. They took me back, the nurse had purple hair and tattoos! So the doctor came in and gave me a hug. Done. It was the best I had felt at a doctor in a long time. So she had my blood drawn, we talked about all my other problems and if I was struggling with anything else. Personal, medical, psychological, she wanted me to open up about everything so she could get a sense of me as a whole. I felt so good about going there and speaking to her and I almost felt healed when I left. She hugged me again and I cried knowing I had a doctor who wanted to know what was wrong as much as I did.

The next morning when they got the test results back from my blood, they called me right away and explained that there were some inconsistencies. So I walked over (Yes! I lived close enough to walk!) and they told me that they believed I was diabetic. My blood sugar was 346 (and at the time of the blood draw, I hadn't eaten since the night before)! I had an appointment with an Endocrinologist three days later, and I started the long journey of learning about insulin and carbs, sugars, and proteins. I have gone to see several endocronologists since diagnosis, and I struggle to find one that I like. This is still such an emotional journey for me, I know there are so many things that can go wrong, and it makes it overwhelming.

Now, I think I should get a little medical for a moment so this is better understood. Type I Diabetes is when your body, specifically your pancreas, doesn't produce any insulin at all. Some people are born with this, some people develop it over time, and some people are fine one day and not the next. It all depends. So many factors go into it. I developed it later than most. The older term is "Childhood Diabetes". This differs from Type II Diabetes, which happens later in life and is due to diet and food choices over time. It causes your pancreas to produce insulin irregularly, or only partially enough. Type II Diabetes can be reversed, and Type I Diabetes cannot.

As for blood sugar numbers. Normal people are between 70-120 when fasting, or haven't had anything to eat, and up to 180 when they have eaten. And that is what my blood sugar should be too. However, it takes a little more work than just my body. I have to inject myself four times a day, usually. Sometimes more, if my blood sugar is super high, or if I eat more than three times a day. That's all. The fourth injection is "long acting insulin". That is a different kind of insulin and partners with the short acting insulin to keep my blood sugars stable. Lows are bad, highs are bad, but like anything, it all takes a while to figure out and understand.

Since my diagnosis, I have gone through several stages of grief. It is hard to decide if I am glad that I got it later in life, or I wished I had gotten it sooner so it wouldn't all be so overwhelming. The grass is never greener on the other side. It may seem that way until you get there. 

I am learning every day about my internal struggles with it and gaining knowledge about my own body, how I react to foods, how my numbers change.

There is no secret to the fact that I am more mad than anything that I was cursed with this. I just know that I can either use it as a way to get myself healthy in all aspects, or I can use it as an excuse. I make it a mountain, or I can make it a speed bump. Part of this new year is learning more about my diabetes and focusing on that, rather than all the bad that is comes with. Quite honestly, if I am trying to be objective, it is hard, but it isn't the worst thing. There are so many things that people have to deal with Diabetes seems to be right in the middle: plenty of things in life are better to deal with than T1D, but there is a giant list of things that are so much worse than it too.

I am reclaiming my body, I am hoping to unearth some things about myself, and who knows! This could open doors for me within in the Diabetic community. Maybe this is actually a blessing to use to help everyone else? God works in mysterious ways.

If you have any questions or I need to clarify anything, let me know! I know this is a lot to throw at you. But I thought it was pertinent! I talk about it often, and its very much something I deal with and struggle with every day.

Friday, January 9, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 10.

Dinner Party Wish List (Anyone dead, alive or fictional )

Marilyn Monroe
Merna Loy
Josh Groban
John Krasinski
Zac Brown
Gerard Butler
Gregory Peck
Emma Stone
Drew Barrymore
Mandy Moore
Kristen Bell
Dax Shepard
Jimmy Fallon
Jim Parsons
Ellen Degeneres
Portia de Rossi

Blog Challenge: Day 9.

Tell Us About An Interesting Documentary You Have Watched.

My dad is a huge sports person. He has one or two teams from every sport that he will never stray away from. He  has loved some team from the time he was a young kid. One of these teams is the NHL Philadelphia Flyers.  He bought a Flyers onesie for me when I was a baby. That shows how much he loves them.

One afternoon I wasn't feeling too well, so I went down and my dad was watching TV. It seemed interesting enough, so I watched with his. I came in when it was about half over, but he was watching a documentary on the Philadelphia flyers. It is called The Broad Street Bullies and it talks about the early years of the Flyers. It goes into detail about the team "from their beginnings as an expansion team in 1967, to their back-to-back Stanley Cup championships (1974, 1975), and three straight Finals appearances (1974–76)." (Quoted from the Broad Street Bullies Wikipedia page.

It was an amazing documentary that speaks about the struggles and the following this team had from their home city. They were the underdogs, they are rough around the edges, and they wanted to win. They gave their city hope and a team to cheer for. It was such an inspirational story to watch! I found myself crying in the end because of the sheer power this team had on its city.

I shared some special time with my dad, and he patiently answered all my questions. It was nice to enjoy something so much that I knew my dad was also enjoying. It made it so much better.




Thursday, January 8, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 8.

Discuss Something You Have Read Online & Link to It!

21 Lost Gentleman Traditions that Still Apply Today  was a blog post that I found when I was 'surfing the net' (that sounds so old school, but the term is quite accurate). It sounded interesting, and another thing that I could casually send to my boyfriend, just as a nudge in the right direction. 

Once I began reading though, I realized that this isn't something that should be limited to men that are in relationships. It goes for young men out to dinner with their mother, fathers having an outing with their daughters, grandfathers spending quality time with grandchildren, mutual friends working on a school project. It is a great list of universal courtesies that most women find flattering.

I know there is a lot of movements out there that think this type of thing is so degrading to women, it shows that they are less than men, that they need to be taken care of by a man, that its setting the women's movement back. However, I don't believe that is what these truths are getting at. It's more of a push towards mutual respect. That a man is willing to rise when a woman comes to a table is a sign of respect, holding the door open for a woman, or anyone for that matter, is a sign of respect.

The one that stood out to me was the care of a woman's safety by walking them to their car or door. Women's greatest source of fear is men. That could also stir a lot of controversy, however, I know for myself that walking alone at night, I am not scared of a dog, another woman, or traffic, but rather I get the uneasy feeling in my stomach from the thought of being abducted by a man.

Putting all that aside though, I know that I am always appreciative of the little things! And having a man open my car door for me because he wants to is a gesture that goes a long way. 

However, as I was reading this, I realized that this is a list of things that can be taken throughout any relationship. Women with women, men with men, parents with children, friends, coworkers. It offers a mutual line of respect when you can put other people above yourself in these small ways.

I am more of a traditional gal, but that doesn't mean I expect all these things every time. I just know that when my father, brother, or boyfriend takes initiative, I notice and I greatly appreciate it.


Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Blog Challenge: Day 7.

Five Recommended Reads (blogs, books, websites, etc.)

1.House of Rose is a blog that I recently started following. It was something that I stumbled across, searching from one blog to another. Similar to when you get stuck in YouTube and go from funny cat videos to how you use sand to clean your tires. I digress. I stumbled up her blog and I couldn't be more thankful that I did. She is an amazing woman and mom who writes in a way that is so relate-able. She is honest and humble with her daily struggles with motherhood and marriage. I instantly felt like I knew her when I started reading, and have been reading ever since.




2. Room by Emma Donoghue is a book written from the perspective of a five year-old boy who lives in a room. He lives there with his mother and has never known anything else. This book is so different from any books that I have ever read, and when it was recommended to me I was hesitant. However, after reading just the first couple chapters, I was excited to continue. I was engrossed in the language that the author uses. This a heart wrenching book with some SERIOUSLY tough circumstances. I tortures you emotionally and all you want to do is give the characters a hug. I believe part of the reason I enjoyed it so much was because it was outside of my comfort zone. Because of this, I went in not knowing what to expect. The synopsis also didn't really explain much to me, so when I dove in head first, I couldn't put it down.



3. Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner is the best book I have ever read. I read it while I was in High School and it engrossed me. I wanted to be an adult so I was trying to relate to older people, yet I was so inexperienced with life that some of the scenarios seemed more like fantasy. However, now being an adult, I know there is so much truth to many adult themes that are touched on in this book. Losing love, cruelty of strangers and friends, and the kindness of strangers, and relationships blooming in unlikely places. However, this is also a book that relies heavily on the theme that loving yourself is a long road, but everyone can achieve it. I recommend this book to everyone. I also am going to get it in hardback so I can read it time and time again.



4. PostSecret is a website I was introduced to when I was 18 years old. A friend of mine, whom I met in college, had been reading PostSecret every Sunday since she was 14 years old. I looked it up, began to read, and have been hooked ever since. It was a project that a man started where he offered strangers a chance to send in their secrets anonymously. Every week he posts ten to twenty secrets from people all over the country and all over the world. It offers a beautiful place for you to read and send in your inner most thoughts in a safe space and helps you to relate to people form all over the world.


5. tudiabetes: Diabetes Forum is a very recent find. And I couldn't be happier that I found it. It is a place where diabetics of all types can come together to make friends, ask for advice, read articles, and just search for support. I have two blog posts on my pages and emails from several people relating to my story, helping me cope, and answering my personal questions. I have really enjoyed it, and I can't wait to continue with it.