Frustrations.

I find it so frustrating when I need something done, but I don't have the expertise to do it. And I would love to be able to do it on my own, but I am not equipped to. Relying on someone else is just an annoyance! I want it just to be done.

This is coming from work today. I recently got a new computer at work, yet, none of my network access transferred to my new computer. So I am unable to get any work done because of this. And if I knew how to get my access, I would. But I am not equipped to help myself, so I am stuck relying on our IT department to get it all done for me. So, here I sit, with plenty of work to do, and not way to do it. Sigh....

 

However, since I have this time, I thought I would take a moment to talk about things that frustrate me. Everyone has them, and its kind of fun to read about what others find frustrating. It helps me bring mine into perspective.

It frustrates me when people don't take other people into consideration. And with feelings aside, just their time. Like, driving to work. If you are late, just accept that you are late. Don't put my life in danger by speeding up and cutting me off, and don't change lanes and weave in and out of traffic. It's not very considerate. Accept that you are late, be late, and deal with the consequences. It's is probably you're own fault anyway.

There are a million other examples of this one, but this is the one that has most recently affected me.

I don't like when there is something that I want to do, something I would love to do, but I don't know how to do it. This one is a little different than the first option, because this is more of a financial or feeling situation. Let me give an example. I am so frustrated with myself that I don't have the guts to pack up and move, or to take out a loan and open my own store, or to adopt a puppy, or to take a trip across the world. I wish that I could do that, but a little something (feeling, voice, intuition, etc.) keeps me at bay.

Its like to post I wrote before on feeling a sense of claustrophobia. That is how I get sometimes because I ache for something new, a new experience, new surroundings, new things, new people, new experiences. 

I am hoping that this will be a reality, or something that I can remedy at least a little bit.

Thank you for listening to my rant.

Happy Monday.

Hopes and Dreams for 2015.

A new year is upon us! Isn't it a strange feeling to have a completely clean slate? It's like we can't mess anything up. We can be anyone we want to be. You can start anything new. This year I was trying to be less predictable with my resolutions. Everyone wants to lose weight, try new things, eat healthier, write 'thank you' notes. Some people see that as much too typical, predictable, a waste of a resolution. However, isn't part of a resolution to do better than you did before?

So with that, I wanted to share my hopes and dreams for this year.

Church: I would like to go to church 40 Sundays this year.

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Recently I have started going to a church in my community. I was introduced to this church by a friend of mine at work, she had been wanting to go there since she moved to Portland from the Mid-West. So I told her I would go with her to try it out. It has been a wonderful experience. It hits all the points that I have always felt my perfect church would hit.

I get excited to go every week, I am so moved each week when we go, and the music at this church. I wish I could put it into words how moving the music is. It feels like the the spirit is within me. I just can't wait to feel that way each week. The more I go, the more I feel closer to God.

I know not everyone is religious, spiritual, but it isn't something I want to shy away from. This is a new part about me that I am exploring and growing in. This will be a great year to get into the new swing of things and the new church. I am also exploring the possibility of a small group through the church.

Learning: I want to begin taking American Sign Language.

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I have always been fascinated by Sign Language. When I was in 7th grade, there was a deaf boy in my science class. I didn't ever pay attention to the teacher because I was much too busy watching the interpreter sign the class for the boy. Also, in college, I had several classes with a deaf woman, and again, I couldn't watch the professor because I was so taken with the interpreter. Their hands move beautifully and its just amazing to watch. Communicating without using words seems so wonderful. This year, I am going to start taking it and I will see how it goes. I am so thrilled!

Self-Love: Wash my face every night before bed, brush my teeth after lunch (morning and night too), and take care of my nails.

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Just some little things that make me feel so much better. They take no extra time, yet they add so much to your sense of self. I know not everyone does their nails, but it can be something else too. Taking a bath to relax, putting luxurious lotion on after a shower, getting your eye brows waxed, buying new socks. Anything that takes care of you.

This could also be your soul: journaling, praying, reading more, taking evening walks, yoga in the morning, coffee dates with a friend once a week, an afternoon nap on Sundays. It doesn't have to be anything superficial, or anything that must be done to improve your appearance. Just anything that you are doing to better yourself, to open yourself up to the Universe, and just become one with yourself.

Diabetes: Take my Lantus every night.

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I want to get better at taking my long acting insulin. It isn't hard to take it, it helps me feel so much better, helps my numbers, and continues my journey to a healthy life with Diabetes.

And though it isn't hard, it is something I forget to do more regularly that I would like. So! To start off, I have set an alarm on my phone for 9:00pm. That is when I take my long acting Lantus insulin. That way, I don't forget. {This also helps me remember to stop eating after 9:00pm. If I am taking my insulin and correcting before bed, then I can't eat anything else, and it isn't good to eat late since I go to bed early anyway.}

Those are my big ones and I think they are things that I want to concentrate on. Vague and specific, these things will continue the betterment of myself.