Sometimes You Need to Write.

There are always times when I feel as though I will just melt if I don't do something drastic. I get a feeling deep in my gut (gut instincts) that I need to do something. Whether that is try something completely new, wear new clothes, move to a new city, start looking for a new job. It is that feeling when you feel like there are a million things that have potential, and you have potential, and you need to do something or you won't be able to breathe.

I am feeling that right now.

I feel as though I can't breathe because I am stuck in the same place, in a routine that doesn't look like it will be changing any time soon. I have a job that is steady, I rent a home with my boyfriend, I have a cat, I have everything I could ever want. But I don't have anything to look forward to. There are little things here and there that I have to look forward to. A painting night with my girlfriends, Valentine's Day, a concert with my boyfriend in July, a friend's wedding in August, a friend's wedding in September. Several things to look forward to, but even with that, I am feel claustrophobic.

My entire life has been about looking forward to things:
Summer vacation
First Day of School
Christmas
Spring Break
My Birthday
High School
Graduating From High School.
Starting College
Studying Abroad
Graduation
Moving to Los Angeles
Moving Home
Finding a Job
Moving in with my Boyfriend
Getting a Pet
Buying a New Sofa

The list could go on and on...

But all of that has lead me to have this overwhelming need to have huge changes in my life. I know that there is a lot to be said about living in the moment, however! There is a lot to be said about living for a moment, an event. It gives you perspective on what you are working so hard for.

A friend of mine just bought a house with her fiance. And the thought of buying a house to settle down in makes me feel like I can't breathe.

Maybe I just have this overwhelming need constantly be changing.

There are these moments when I am feeling this way, and all I want to do is start a blog, read 1,000 books, walk 100 miles, and really just open myself up to all the opportunities that are out there. I hope someday I will accomplish all these things. There is a fire inside of me... but what is it burning for?

I don't know.

I think I need to turn to God and hope that He has some ideas to help me get through my life. I don't turn to him enough. But I want to. Church is really opening me up to all the possibilities that lie in my faith.

I don't want to be one of those people that moves all the time and can't commit to anything because I still want to hang a close group of friends and I still want to find my niche, a place where I know that I will be happy and won't feel claustrophobic. However, I have found it yet.

Blog Challenge: Day 28.

5 Pieces of Advice to Your Younger Self

1. Appreciate your body! 

You don't have to love it, but appreciate what you have.

2. It's okay to put yourself first sometimes.

It's not realistic to say always, but it is something that is okay every now and then.

3. Cherish the important family moments.

Put the phone down and watch television with your family.

4. Don't take advice from people who you don't hold in the highest regard.

Just because they are your friends, doesn't always mean they know best.

5. Change your major in college when you thought about it the first time.

Not that I am not happy with where I am, but having a major I am passionate about my have pushed me into a career a little sooner.

Blog Challenge: Day 22.

What Do You Miss (Person, place, thing or time in your life)

Something that has recently come up for me, is missing how things used to be. I have always been close with my family, extremely close, and because of that I was happy to live at home until I was 26 years old. This isn't something I am ashamed of, or something that I hide from people. I branched out, went to college, moved to Los Angeles for 8 months. However, I was never ready to live on my own because the relationship I had with my parents was so great.

I think there is a lot to be said about all the things that I have left to experience in my life. No one knows what is going to happen in the future, and I know that at some point in the coming years I will miss this moment. But that's part of life. We miss the things that are comfortable and familiar. The future is unknown, so when you think back to how things used to be, it is easy to get nostalgic.

I miss when my brother was little and how we used to play trains all day.

I miss when I used to go to school instead of work and always had something fun to talk about.

I miss my grandparents,

I miss liking things that didn't make me one type of person or another.

I miss summer vacation.

I miss my parent's old dog.

I miss not worrying about so many things.

I miss being a kid.